The Ugly Truth: How to Identify and stop Self-Sabotage

There’s an event I’ve been waiting for all year coming up soon. I’m geeked, full of passion and momentum. First of all let me say I’m proud of my Dream Team and all the thoughts we’re bouncing off each other and the moves we’re making.  Because of our eagerness we’ve accomplished so much months ahead of time! You know team work makes the dream work. While I’m taking it all in, you know the progress, the motivation, the ah ha moments, I insert a little lax time. So I venture off to start working on one of the million things running in head, then BOOM…weeks have gone by and I’ve yet to get back to planning this event. Hello Self Sabotage! ugh!

Probably not the only one that happens to, I can’t be. You ever been working on something EPIC and take a breather and shift your focus to something else and in the blink of an eye that breather went from days to weeks and now you’re sitting there with unfinished business?? Tell me you can relate.

Self Sabotage Moment of Transparency

 As much as I wanted to and as easy as it is to place the blame elsewhere, it’s clear…I am the problem and the solution. So what I really need to get clear about is why I keep do this to myself. In reality I know why…it’s fear of failure. Yep I’m scared shitless of failure! For that reason I stall, down play my greatness. You name it, I’ve probably done. I mean who really wants to fail?!?! 

Self Sabotage Plot Twist

But, Is it really fear of failure or is it something else lying beneath the surface? I would have rather left it as fear of failure. After all, its seems like the most logical explanation right? Well, I dare to say there’s a fear of success and ya girl struggles with it! You heard it here…the fear of success is real! Finally admitting it and it seems rather strange, but hey that’s why its a plot twist. What if this thing blows up and I’m suddenly thrust in the spotlight…am I really ready to handle that? Is success going to bring me much more challenging work? Who am I to take on all that? So I might as well keep playing it small right?

“It’s time out for all the excuses. Either you’re going to do it or you’re not. PERIOD. There will never be the “perfect” time. There is no such thing as “having it all together”. When you use these excuses as an escape plan, you’re only sabotaging yourself and delaying your greatness. Do it afraid, unsure, and uncomfortable if you have to, but just do it!” – Mrs. T. Renee, founder of The FIT Divas Society.

Self Sabotage Revelation

I’ve been sabotaging myself. No one else. Not super powers or a team of haters out to get me. I’ve done it to myself. Jay-Z said it best “you can’t heal what you never reveal”! Well I revealed my self-sabotaging behaviors. I literally had to keep it 100 with myself. Even more I had to accept the ugly truth and be wiling to do something about it. First of all I  know that I’m going to fail…at something. But now I’m determined to fail forward. I now accept failure as a part of my journey, not the final destination. Because of the failures, I grow. I learn how to get back up and go even harder.

I think it’s time you sat down and thought about your self-sabotaging behaviors.

Self Sabotage Evolution

I’ve moved past fearing failure to accepting failure. I know that I’m going to fail but now I’m determined to fail forward. I now accept failure as a part of my journey, not the final destination.

I’ve given you transparency, a lil plot twist, revelation and even my evolution. But now it’s time to tell you how I evolved. How was I able to cut out my self-sabotaging behaviors? I’m glad you asked. Here’s a few of my tips:


I am a firm believer of affirmations. I wrote a journal, check it out here! Affirmations are powerful. My favorites are I Am affirmations. Use these to confirm what YOU say YOU are. Then believe them. You become whatever you attach to these two words! One of my personal favorites… I AM SUCCESSFUL!

Journey to I Am Affirmation Journal
Make the shift to an "I Am" mindset today! My book Journey to I Am; An Affirmation Journal helps you transform your life, starting with your mind. This book is packed with 21 powerful journaling prompts that will leave you feeling empowered, inspired, and confident in WHO YOU ARE. If you are ready to develop the habit of affirming your life and are ready to start the journey of becoming your best self, this book is for you!
Get Uncomfortable

Start doing things that make you uncomfortable. Everyday! Nothing grows in your comfort zone, including you! Why would you want to stunt your growth when you know you were created for more?

Face Your Fears

We all have fears. No one is exempt from them. But the difference lies in who looks fear in the face and keeps going anyway. Your fears may not be my fears, and my fears may not be yours, but trust me, I have them! I’m just determined to not let fear win. I choose to operate in faith and not fear!

The world isn’t out to get you. People you don’t know are rooting for you. I believe this for me and you. Rise up and be who you are called to be. The world is waiting for what you have to offer.

P.S. Have you identified your self-sabotaging behaviors? Have you discovered ways to cut ties with them? We’d love to hear about them in the comments.

Leave a Comment